eskimo kisses

Knowing you always means knowing
your fingers change with your smiles, your
unimportant ledgers, scrolls of unending
details.  You wait like at the beginning
of a breath in between
commas, too many a semi-feigned eye roll,
you know I like the sound of your voice.

With dark clouds there you stand, a laugh
just arrived, just late enough.  I’ll decide
this time how your eyes are the color of earth, after
and before rain,
this time your stubborn lips charmless,
your embrace stony,
I’ll share none of the above,
with feet flounder flat, lips
along the equator, bloodless, shameless,
it’s dark in this box.

Out on blue-blue water, so blue
stars appear as fast as they recede,
the moon never waits for her glittering lover, here
up against every spoken hope, stacked from the legs
of the earth, we compiled until we died.
What I insisted to be
ramblings of a man in heat
between aisles of a convenient store,
pressing your body against mine, we
can make it together.

Only 100 plus ages later, the lid came
off, you bathed me
as I danced
faster you begged, my silver ghost,
watch the return, feel hide soften to suede
dance, awake to the sun and moon at once,
waiting is easy, my wild doe, here
we never die.

a millenium or two later

Laid that grey on that brown, fourth, fifth smacks
when I return, its wings still flaccid, not
at its ascent, if only they were wax.

Inside like on laundry day, fill it up with bunched socks,
cycles are longer, mine seven days longer
doesn’t that plastic round feel good
between my thighs
often I’d caress your velveteen head,
why does it feel like dying?
You ask nothing, just hushed, humid
secrets on my cheek,
don’t it, don’t it,
girl, lover
your wishes are like your fantasies, this
last push, tonight
we gazed, liquid for eyes at dinosaur clouds.

At the highest octaves,
this is where I taste your mouth, stealing
every other breath, hovering over
membranes greedy like anger,
serious like homicide, true love requires
loss.

It’s a close second, licking your sweat
off my front teeth
tracing spaces when our skins meet,
calf to belly
your hands tightened around
the back of my neck.
It haunts.

Can you hear when I yell, when you yell
loud like stereos in ears
it’s a flush no run can master
measured accusations, they don’t last
fingers so pointed we’ll need patches
in no time, what I’d give
for your hand around
just by the constellation on my neck, still
damp with tender touches, my
raw heart won’t allow, it’s not time
for baby

Once, six times later, we exhaled fear
you laid your heart in my palm,
mine sewn, but placed, we fell.

feeding the troll cookies

sometimes love takes time, he
sang loud, proud, skinny legs in grey tights.I admit, it made my heart soften, I understand
you asked for my numbers
out of etiquette’s rules, you know
nothing of me.

The wind tonight turned my honest
skirt from my hands,
don’t short hiking socks turn you on?
Don’t you make all of us feel guilty
you over-achiever,
we measured years and years
after graduation.  Maybe
you’re still mad I
deflowered your parent’s manicured lawn.

Nothing but stiff lips, too creased corners, that’s
how you and I pass, day in
and dear god,
you’ve gone to bed, peace and now
I understand
the beauty of night, alone on a couch picked
over with kitten’s claws, we
stuff the white
mornings with the recycling.

Falling in mud, a happy release,
with a trash bag full of confetti,
you kissed me,
didn’t we, on a grapevine,
leaf to leaf,
green on browning purple,
when I talked the moon’s delight
you sighed, I love.

five snaps from new

Being alone takes practice
with the risk of liking
the quiet.
I’m nervous
among pleasant chatter,
snap at small attempts of
kindness.
A were -
woman, bared
teeth, she knows no better.

In two months, I’ll forget
the human, cellular
response to touch,
kisses bruise my soiled coat.
A transformation sealed
with smelly herbs, in jars
marked with yellowed paper,
messy fixative, some
blue scotch – late drunken nights,
even then we attempted symmetry.

But it smacks you walking out
of your house, on a day
not cold enough
for snow.
Just slips, silent leathered slippers
on your soul.
A glare for a smile
What is easy?
concerning conversation
my resume boasts
experience that will get you killed.

Out here, less really is more.
It’s not a magnet on a fridge,
or a hazy childhood
memory, even the catchphrase
in neon block letters,
want to keep your man, in
ten steps.
Just one.
Bites matter.
Speed matters.
Above all,
tenacity, resolve, grim
solitude,
look how beautiful
the wind moves
through her fur, eyes steady -

I hate the little girl who
rambles about her hair stuck
in a train, her father helps her,
one arm at a time,
she’s safe,
knows the first love
of a man
who wants nothing
from her.

Meeting a gaze causes pain
now;
I’m unsure of what they see,
and I wince when he
asks me whether
I’m expecting anyone.
He looks sad for me,
sits before my lips
part.

The last ritual doesn’t happen
at the first full moon,
despite what most believe
the form of descent determines
an awakening.
Why they howl,
maybe that’s just what
we hear.

the darkest hour

somewhere, someplace my eyes meet yours
they say words fail,
hearts retreat like wicks buried
a steady flame,
six withered matches, still
they glow curled by torn
receipts, empty orange bottles,
a favorite tee worn through
until stubborn stitches sighed relief, maybe

you look too
see forgotten but not lost images bright
illuminated by subway sparks, your hand against
a rusting pillar, the dark
never felt like home this much
in this narrow car you still love me

you pressed words
in a spot blood rests, blue tunnels scrawling,
a crawling embrace
even still miles away I
think he would hate this painting,
be quiet and stingy
I’d wade through clear corn fields,
as endless as falling

what you knew by your wrists, dear
one now I know.

we walked all day

now, my sweater smells like me
traces of a night’s
slumber, sweaty
clutching a pillow made from boxes
of fabric, hairy – between my legs
I find you in the morning, later
propped on a white wall,
patiently
my showers never take that long.  Out
of a box too long for exiting, three tries
finally into the car, I remembered
months happy wedged between
our skins, often by morning at the edge,
a migration led by restless limbs,

for years,
at good night, my neck smelled of milk
reverently inhaled, always with surprise.

the endless rain

Just drunk off a contact high, staring
at drizzling rain
yellowing
don’t they look like
something
we couldn’t speak,

We sat like that for hours
nothing more
it’s sweet not to want -

Masked by silver on white, you
kept quiet, if
you’re careful
don’t you see
a suspended self, it
reveals the more you come,
she spoke, sex for eyes,
a mouth dirty enough for eating,

You feel
like the mood
of the wind hours before a storm,
we’re just happy the heavens answered
the revealing times, now
we feel less shame,

On a post-it, you wrote
your apologies
for leaving just ketchup and half-hearted
cans of last night’s beer,
you signed in stick figures, a
curious insect caught
in the rain, complete
with tiny rain
boots, down
the page rains
hearts.

9 syllable words only

I thought today of a world without
words,
as I crowded cement walls with gestures,
plenty propositions,
I hate the sound of my voice too.
It’s true the simplest truths
enter with ease,
I know they’re easily lost

On the board he wrote
Gilgamesh, an introduction while I
wished my body was transparent, clutching
the wrong pen
I prefer ballpoint for notebook paper,
the rest bleeds through -
twisting my legs once more; it saves

I awoke wet
backs of my knees slick
with humid boredom, just
cease
your petty observations, sheer
outlines hovered, they
copy, looking out
on a periphery, others jump too.

Like butter melting on rubber, slick
as rain after an ice storm, warm
like hands drawn under covers, finding
the small of a back midway through sleep,
we passed

Berries in winter, god
is modernity great -

the lines between

I have many places to go.

We argued, in play, about the beach
house – more
green, she and he saw
blue eyes set in hollowed holes
her belly swelled along
an alternate continuum
her face photographed by
Redwoods and spunky squirrels
at night, her new baby cooed
in the palm of my hand,
balanced
my free hand; it hovered protectively.

Eris reigns even though candles
collect cobwebs, anchors
made from basal wood
hook around empty
spaces -
My worship is enough

she walks the curve of a question
marked by footprints
collected under the sea, here, here
here, see them rise, dancing traces, oh
they’re swept by luminous stars draped
in reflective rays -
silver bodies arrive,
their bare breasts
round in mirrored harmony,

they come from the moon,
they’ve gathered fallen stars
in a basket made of bamboo set in a corner
tomorrow, laughing
they hurl them at the heavens.

the fifth standard

the mild mannered
aren’t for me
we talked at length I was careful
with steps heavy on the toes,
the snow fell in crystals

What you know of theory
in between rice papered pages

push and shove, push -
the mild mannered
anger me
there’s little air
on a platform during rush hour, but
fat, here I am to stay, say or die -
that isn’t the push,
it’s just a black plastic bag

Wasn’t enough to claim
me or otherwise, silent

ten minutes click, the clock’s arm
a steamer
how many without, how -

How, coward
in your so pretty flaxen fantasy.